Saturday, March 17, 2018

Negative Thoughts to Gratitude Thoughts

As my work day ended, the comparison and negative thoughts began. No one should do the comparison game or think negatively about themselves. We should be full of the good things. We should be full of love, encouragement, gratitude, and beauty. 

So as I sat down to relax and watch This Is Us I shifted my focus from the negative to feelings of gratitude. I may have cried. Between This Is Us and feeling so full of gratitude it couldn't be helped.  

As I began to switch my negative thoughts to gratitude thoughts, my friends A and C came to mind. We've been friends for years, but these past three through it all. They've loved me. Encouraged me. Cried with me. Listened to me. Laughed with me. Called me out when I needed it and so much more. 

My eyes may be leaking now as I write this and think about them. I am grateful that C works with me a few months out of the year. Even if she scares me sometimes as she pokes her head over the cubicle wall or gives me "the look" to check my attitude. I am grateful for our laughs, dancing, tears, long conversations, fears, and having each others back. 

I love them and so grateful to have them for friends. And the point of all of this is to say as I thought over my gratitude for having these two amazing, beautiful women in my life the negative and lonely thoughts went away. It changed my attitude and I may have sent them a love you snap. 

If you have these negative thoughts stop, look around and think about the things you are grateful for in life. There are so many things. 


Sunday, March 11, 2018

Rolling Downhill

My food the past week and a half was not good. The last week of February, I had prepped salads for lunch all week and a couple for dinner. However, Monday after my first few bites I felt nauseas and threw my salad away. Unfortunately after that I couldn't stomach the thought of eating a salad. On top of this I woke up with a cold on Tuesday morning. I ended up ordering in most of the week, which was not a good thing.

It was also a busy week and I did not get to bed at a decent time. I woke up late and exhausted almost every morning. So on top of not eating nutritiously, I was not getting my workouts in for the week. This combination of not eating well and not working out is equivalent to a baby who is tired and fighting a nap.  I may have been cranky and craving carbs and sweets. 

It ends up being a vicious cycle. On my way home last week I was thinking about how I needed a workout, but I was so tired. I was exhausted and not eating nutritiously, which continues the cycle of not feeling well and being tired. I was headed downhill and needed to slow my roll. Thankfully I had prepared my favorite chili for the week and I had a workout with Lyndsey on Wednesday night. 

While my food and workouts were not great this week I was able to slow my roll. I may have rolled downhill a little bit, but I am picking myself back up. This week I have my second favorite meal prepared for lunches and a bagged salad for dinner. I am more prepared this week and beginning to climb back up the hill. Again! It isn't easy, but it is worth it.

Monday - 30 minute walk/run
Tuesday - 60 minute strength (Tuesday)
Wednesday - Rest
Thursday - 30-40 minute Tabata
Friday - 30 minute walk/run
Saturday - 90 minute strength 
Sunday - Rest

I won't lie. I am a little uneasy putting this out there for everyone to see, but it gives me some accountability. Plus my goal is 4 or more workouts a week. This week at work will be crazy, but hopefully having a plan will help. Time to get 'er done!


Wednesday, February 28, 2018

No Shame in Counseling

The other day I mentioned something about my counselor to someone and they were a little shocked that I still see him. I started seeing him a few months after my ex-husband walked out. In the beginning it was a weekly occurrence, but I currently go every two to three weeks.  It just depends on what is going on in my life. People have different views on counseling. I have been to a couple different ones, but I do think you need to find the right one. 

The counselor I see now was recommended to me by my sister-in-law shortly after my ex left. He was previously her professor. He is a Christian counselor is less than 6 miles from me. Thank God for name came to her while I was visiting my brother and her. 

He has helped me work through so many things. He isn't there to tell me what to do, but to counsel me. I have learned how to communicate better with my Mom (this is still a work in progress), understand my self doubt, find my love in music, figure out reoccurring nightmares, and so much more. He has prayed for me, answered my questions, helped me understand my reason for being open, and more. 

There is and should be no shame in counseling. No matter what you are going through in life I would recommend it. However, if you are trying to get through a difficult time in life I think it is a must. It was so nice to have someone to talk to who didn't know my ex, our friends or family, or me. He didn't take sides, which I needed during that time. It was one of the best decisions I made to help heal my broken heart at the time. 

Honestly, I believe it is smart to find a counselor. They help you to better understand the things you are going through and yourself. As time goes on I may start seeing my counselor less or more, but I don't see a time where I will quit seeing a therapist. I want to continue to grow and be a better me. By doing this I love myself more, which in turn allows me to give more love to those around me. 


Sunday, February 25, 2018

Food Prep

A few weeks ago I decided to start get prepping individual meals so meals would be easier. One reason I thought to do this was my Mom ruptured her disc right before Christmas and was in extreme pain. She wasn't able to get around well so I for a couple weeks I prepped individual meals for her so it would be as easy as possible. Thankfully she is doing better, but I realized how nice it would be to have my own meals ready to go. 

I have been really trying to prep on Sunday nights these past couple of weeks. My week nights have been pretty busy. If I don't have food ready and have to think about what to do I end up ordering in Jimmy John's for lunch and pizza for dinner. After a really bad week almost a month ago I decided to do individual meals like I did for my Mom.

For Christmas I got these awesome containers from my friend & trainer, Lyndsey. I am not sure if these are the exact ones, but they look like it. I prepped salads in these containers and loved it. It was easy to measure all of the ingredients and keep my veggies, spinach, and chicken separate. 

The first week I did the salads for lunch and something random for dinner. Dinner was prepped, but individually. Last week I measured it all out individually for lunches and dinners. It took some time, but it was so nice! I didn't have to think about it during the week and was able to stay on track. 

There is still have a long ways to go, but this has been working for me. I definitely will need to think of ways to change it up, but I am really enjoying the salads for lunch right now. The nutrition is the hardest part for me. 

What are your favorite healthy meals? 


Thursday, February 22, 2018

Here I Go Again

Have you ever had this crazy idea come in your head and you just ignore it. However, it keeps nagging at you no matter how many excuses you come up with or how many times you pray about it. So, here I am... again. 

I will be honest, the past couple of years have been rough. When I first started the blog I thought I would share my journey and the steps I had taken to get there. However, life took a turn. I have been and continue to slowly pick myself up and put the pieces back together. One thing I do know is with God I can do anything. 

So I am going to share more and document my experiences. The ups and the downs for my own benefit and if it helps anyone else, even better. I hope you have all been well. 


Monday, August 28, 2017

5 Lessons for Living with Your Brother

A little over a year ago my youngest brother graduated from High School and moved in with me. He was planning on going to a community college where I live so I gave him the option to move in with me. I thought it would be good for both of us. He could have one of the bedrooms, the basement, and the 2nd bathroom. It would give him the opportunity to not live at home while helping me with some of the things I wasn't sure about after the divorce. 

While I do not regret my decision things would have been done differently knowing what I know now. Here are the things I learned living with my 19 year old brother:

1.  HAVE A CONTRACT: We discussed the rules and what he needed to do over the phone; however, we did not get a chance to meet and go over them. After approximately 7 months I wrote out a contract for him to sign because he was not doing said items.

We had agreed he would take the trash & recycling out weekly, yard work (mowing, weeding, raking leaves, etc.), shovel the sidewalk in the winter, and work part-time while he went to school. He did not have to pay rent. He did not do these things like he was supposed to and was not going to school. Therefore, I created a 'contract' where he paid a rent and was charged fines if things were not done. 

2.  START STRICT: I let a lot of things go when he first moved in because he was my baby brother. There were different reasons I let things go, but it wasn't the best move. It is easier to start strict and lighten up on some things than to try and become strict.  

3.  CHARGE RENT: It is a lot easier to stop having them pay rent, but it was kind of a pain to set it up after a specified amount of time. Even if you set it up to go to savings account for them later. 

4.  HAVE BOUNDARIES: I did not set and keep boundaries that I know I should have as an older sister. In some areas I became his mother and not his older sister. In this regard there was a lack of respect for my home and items. There was also no guidelines setup on things I believed he would do and in the end didn't. For instance, cooking at 2am on weeknights or screaming & cursing at video games. I should have addressed these from the beginning (see #2). 

5.  BOYS ARE MESSY: Teenagers (especially boys) are messy. I am not saying my house is extremely orderly, but there is that thing we all have. Address that prior to it getting out of control. 


Monday, August 21, 2017

Busy Bee Weekends

When I started blogging again about a month ago my plan was to blog at least once a week. I could do it on the weekends... Then my weekends blew up! My last post on July 28th was posted minutes before I walked out the door for a girls weekend. My friend has a seasonal camper and her awesome family let us use it for the weekend. 

It was so nice to just relax and catch up all weekend. We of course had smores and a couple drinks! The camper special with blueberry liqueur... delicious! It was great to relax with each other on the beach and by the campfire. There is something about the beach that is so relaxing! Being there with your best gal pals just makes it that much better!

Then the first weekend in August, I met up with my friend (& trainer), Lyndsey and her daughter to watch them both do a triathlon. That's right... Her 10 year old daughter did a triathlon!  I'm not going to lie... I was so proud of her I got a bit choked up. Lyndsey of course was amazing and came in 2nd place. Girl is a power house! She continues to amaze me!

Then August 9th through 12th, I was at a music festival with my Mom & Aunt. It was so great to see so many amazing Christian bands! We got to see Tenth Avenue North, We Are Messengers, Hollyn, Laura Story, Matthew West, and so many more. There is no way to describe the feeling of having thousands worshipping and praising God! 

 Tenth Avenue North
 We Are Messengers - I seriously love this guy!
 Laura Story
Matthew West

I had a great time hanging out and enjoying the weather all while see some of my favorite artists perform. Thankfully we did pretty well with food and drinks by packing our own. However, I did treat myself to a homemade lemonade though. Drool! Anyone else love these? 

My Mom put my name on my lunch! Haha!

What have you been up to these past few weeks/weekends?