Sunday, January 31, 2016

January Favorites

This has been a very drab month for me personally. Going into the New Year sick, trying to get out of my funk, and more. It just has been blah for me it feels like personally. It was really hard to pick favorites for this month I think just because I have been in a negative mood. Hopefully February will be great!

1. Leggings - I have finally jumped on the wagon with leggings. For whatever reason, I just haven't worn them out in public. I have started wearing them recently, especially on some of my long days where I know I have things to do after work. They are so comfy! I need some more tunics and dresses to wear with them. 

2. Boots - I have been loving wearing my boots with leggings, skinny jeans, and dresses. These have also become a staple with my leggings on long days. Wearing a pair of leggings and flat boots for the day and I am good on those appointments/errands after work.

It doesn't hurt that I can wear them and not bring another pair of shoes with me to work. Where with the ice and snow I wear boots and then put the heels on at work.

3. Snowmen - I love them. They are all over my house and I think I finally feel like it is time to pack them up with the rest of my Christmas decorations. 

4. Ricola Cough Drops - This is my second cold in January. Growl! I had one the very first week in January and caught another one last week. The first one I had an awful sore throat and this one I have an awful cough. So I have been loving these this month. :)

5. Elementary - I have been enjoying this TV show a lot lately. Not that I haven't in the past, but I think it has just been the mood I have been in recently. It is a good show solving crimes for the good of it. 

What was on of your January Favorites?

Sunday, January 17, 2016

Getting through a Divorce

The beginning of May 2015, Brandon left and decided he wanted a divorce. I never saw it coming and my world felt like the bottom had dropped out. I was scared and confused. One thing I was scared of was falling into a deep depression. I suffer from depression and I didn't want to get where I have been previously. So, I reached out. People want to help. Sometimes you just need to let them.

Here is who helped me:

Family & Friends - I immediately reached out to my family and friends. A few of my friends were there to text me constantly throughout the day. I had family and friends who spent the night so I wouldn't be alone, I went to their house on the weekends, they hugged me, they prayed for me, they reminded me I didn't deserve the way I was treated, and they were just there.

There was one point when I was at my Mom's house doing the ugly cry when I told her "Mom, you did a really good job. People really like me." There were some friends I hadn't talked to in months, some years that were there offering love and advice. I will never be able to express my gratitude and thanks to all of them.

So my advice to you is reach out. Let them be there for you!

Counselor - During one of the weekends when I was at my brother and sister-in-laws house, she asked if I would be willing to see a counselor. I was, but in previous years I hadn't had great luck. She asked if I would see a christian counselor and I was willing. She knew a couple and told me one of the names that popped in her head. When I looked him up I found his office was 4 miles down the road from me. I immediately scheduled an appointment.

I was blessed to immediately find someone I connected with this time around. I would encourage you to find someone who you connect with, but having someone to talk to has been HUGE for me! He has encouraged me to read the Bible, pray, journal, and so much more. He has been there to help get where I am today. It is nice to talk to someone who is removed from the situation. Who doesn't feel one way or the other against you or the people involved. It has been a huge blessing to have someone to talk to and help me grow in my faith.

God - Give it to God! I don't know where I would be without all of the answers to prayers made over the past 9 months. He was there picking me up when I couldn't stand, leading me when I couldn't go any further, helping me forgive when I didn't believe I could, and so much more.

In the first months I had nightmares. They were awful. I would wake up and not be able to go back to sleep. They were awful. I began praying after I would wake up from them and within a short period I would fall back asleep. Not long after I began praying after waking up from these nightmares, I stopped having them. I would not be as healed and happy as I am now without God.

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

2015 Recap & 2016 Goals

As usual I am late with this post. December was a whirlwind for me. I didn't expect the holidays to be as difficult as they were for me. I think between being busier at work, trying to catch up after vacation, and the emotions of the holidays I didn't take the time to think about next year. However, I caught a cold and finally sat down to reflect and think about this next year. 

Let's get 2015 over with first. 

2015 Goals
    • Workout 5x week
    • 2 cheat meals per week
    • Freeze more meals
    • Win a DietBet

Short & sweet? This year didn't happen. I am not beating myself up over it. I have been through hell this year and I am still standing. 

In the end, I did read 37 books. It was more than I thought I would read after not being able to read for weeks after Brandon left. I also ran a 5k in under 40 minutes. Other than that it just didn't happen. My weight has slowly gone up, I didn't read the 50 books, and there was a goal of working on my marriage, but that goal was obviously removed. 

I am not sure what 2016 holds, but I am hoping for an amazing year. This year I have decided to do quarterly check-ins on my yearly and list ways to work on these goals. So here is what I have for 2016! 

2016 Goals
    • 12-13 books every 3 months
  • RUN 5K (run the whole thing)
    • Sign up for 2-3 5k's
    • Learn how to use my Garmin & then use it :)
  • READ & PRAY 10 MINUTES/DAY FOR 4 DAYS/WEEK (at least 4 days/week)
    • Use YNAB
    • Do 30 Day No Spending Challenge
  • REACH GOAL WEIGHT (135 lbs)
    • "Give up" certain foods
    • DietBet 
    • Biggest Looser (work challenge)
    • quarterly check-ins
    • Log daily in MyFitness Pal
    • Workout 4+days/week
    • Cook for myself
  • 75+ BLOG POSTS
    • Weight loss blogs
    • Divorce blogs
    • Positivity blogs

So there we have it... We'll see what happens! 

I don't know if I will do monthly goals and recap as I have in the past. I may just do every three months and keep you up to date on what I am doing. Stay tuned! 

What goals did you accomplish in 2015? What goals do you have in 2016?

Friday, January 1, 2016

Dear 2015

Dear 2015,

I am not sad to see you end and am hopeful for this next year. You have been a difficult, but blessed year. When the ball dropped in 2015 I truly believed you would be an amazing year. My goals included reading 50 books, reaching my goal weight, running a 5k, getting through the one difficulty in my marriage, and getting my finances in better order. However, you had other plans and there were some difficult times lying ahead for me.

  • In the end of January, I was fired from my job.
  • Then my husband decided our marriage was over the first part of May.
  • My divorce was final in October.
  • Someone I love dearly told me they were sick. It is treatable, but still scary. 

This list may seem short, but these were all very difficult things for me. A divorce is a process with all of the paperwork, the lawyers, family, friends, and the heartbreak. Eventually I will share these details, but not in this post. The heartbreak was the worst part. Unfortunately, I did not see him leaving coming even if I can look back now and see some of the signs. I never in a million years believed he would just give up and walk out. 

Even with the trials of 2015 the blessings have been amazing. In April, I found an amazing job and I love it. They treat their clients and their employees with the utmost respect. I am loving it and continue to learn everyday. 

There are not enough words for me to ever express how thankful I am for all the kindness and love I have received while going through my separation and divorce. I don't know what I have ever done to have so many people show so much love for me. Thank you to all of you who were there to let me know what I was feeling, the nightmares, the tears, and so much more were normal. Thank you!!!

I have been so blessed for all of the love from family and friends. I am blessed to have a church that has accepted me like family. I am thankful that even with all of the shame I felt that I was not treated that way. I am blessed not to have been blamed. I am blessed to have made new friends. I am blessed! I look forward to 2016. I am hopeful for what I am to learn and accomplish in 2016. 

What blessings have you had in 2015? What are you hopeful for in 2016?