Monday, August 28, 2017

5 Lessons for Living with Your Brother

A little over a year ago my youngest brother graduated from High School and moved in with me. He was planning on going to a community college where I live so I gave him the option to move in with me. I thought it would be good for both of us. He could have one of the bedrooms, the basement, and the 2nd bathroom. It would give him the opportunity to not live at home while helping me with some of the things I wasn't sure about after the divorce. 

While I do not regret my decision things would have been done differently knowing what I know now. Here are the things I learned living with my 19 year old brother:

1.  HAVE A CONTRACT: We discussed the rules and what he needed to do over the phone; however, we did not get a chance to meet and go over them. After approximately 7 months I wrote out a contract for him to sign because he was not doing said items.

We had agreed he would take the trash & recycling out weekly, yard work (mowing, weeding, raking leaves, etc.), shovel the sidewalk in the winter, and work part-time while he went to school. He did not have to pay rent. He did not do these things like he was supposed to and was not going to school. Therefore, I created a 'contract' where he paid a rent and was charged fines if things were not done. 

2.  START STRICT: I let a lot of things go when he first moved in because he was my baby brother. There were different reasons I let things go, but it wasn't the best move. It is easier to start strict and lighten up on some things than to try and become strict.  

3.  CHARGE RENT: It is a lot easier to stop having them pay rent, but it was kind of a pain to set it up after a specified amount of time. Even if you set it up to go to savings account for them later. 

4.  HAVE BOUNDARIES: I did not set and keep boundaries that I know I should have as an older sister. In some areas I became his mother and not his older sister. In this regard there was a lack of respect for my home and items. There was also no guidelines setup on things I believed he would do and in the end didn't. For instance, cooking at 2am on weeknights or screaming & cursing at video games. I should have addressed these from the beginning (see #2). 

5.  BOYS ARE MESSY: Teenagers (especially boys) are messy. I am not saying my house is extremely orderly, but there is that thing we all have. Address that prior to it getting out of control. 


Monday, August 21, 2017

Busy Bee Weekends

When I started blogging again about a month ago my plan was to blog at least once a week. I could do it on the weekends... Then my weekends blew up! My last post on July 28th was posted minutes before I walked out the door for a girls weekend. My friend has a seasonal camper and her awesome family let us use it for the weekend. 

It was so nice to just relax and catch up all weekend. We of course had smores and a couple drinks! The camper special with blueberry liqueur... delicious! It was great to relax with each other on the beach and by the campfire. There is something about the beach that is so relaxing! Being there with your best gal pals just makes it that much better!

Then the first weekend in August, I met up with my friend (& trainer), Lyndsey and her daughter to watch them both do a triathlon. That's right... Her 10 year old daughter did a triathlon!  I'm not going to lie... I was so proud of her I got a bit choked up. Lyndsey of course was amazing and came in 2nd place. Girl is a power house! She continues to amaze me!

Then August 9th through 12th, I was at a music festival with my Mom & Aunt. It was so great to see so many amazing Christian bands! We got to see Tenth Avenue North, We Are Messengers, Hollyn, Laura Story, Matthew West, and so many more. There is no way to describe the feeling of having thousands worshipping and praising God! 

 Tenth Avenue North
 We Are Messengers - I seriously love this guy!
 Laura Story
Matthew West

I had a great time hanging out and enjoying the weather all while see some of my favorite artists perform. Thankfully we did pretty well with food and drinks by packing our own. However, I did treat myself to a homemade lemonade though. Drool! Anyone else love these? 

My Mom put my name on my lunch! Haha!

What have you been up to these past few weeks/weekends?


Friday, July 28, 2017

Best Med

Do you like to workout? I do. I love it actually and I never thought I would say that in my life. The truth is I need it. I was on my way home after work last night and was doing a bit of negative self-talk. I was half way home sitting at a red light when I consciously made a point that I needed to stop beating myself up. I started driving through the intersection when I thought, "I need a workout." What?!?! 

It made me think about when I get a headache or a migraine. I have learned over the years there is a point where I know I need to take my meds or I am going to be in serious trouble. That is how I felt driving home last night. I needed to shut the negative self talk down and the best way to do that is a workout. 

Now did I workout last night... sadly no. I did get a lot of stuff done in preparation for my weekend though. Then this morning I got up and did a killer workout. I got in 90 minutes and burned 611 calories. Boom baby! The hardest part of working out is getting started. 

Here are some things that have helped me:

  • Put my workout clothes on as soon as I get home.
  • Make my pre-workout drink & drink it on my way home from work.
  • Turn on my workout music that gets me moving. 
  • Text my friend Lyndsey or my Mom & Aunt Mary for accountability.
  • Plan my workout and what I am doing. 
  • Sweaty Selfies 😊 (I am loving these!)
Now I just need to start getting those workouts in more often. 


Saturday, July 22, 2017

Day One

When I started this blog my goal was to show how I lost weight and the difference it had made in my life. It always felt like the success stories I saw were of someone having a revelation and dropping the weight quickly. So, I wanted to share my story about how I had lost 40 pounds over time and what I had learned. I wanted to share that small steps were okay and how positive thinking was a big component. My confidence had increased and I felt I was on the path to success and happiness. 

It had taken two years for me to find my groove. Two years for me to feel good about myself, lose weight, and feel great about the direction I was headed. My first kick came when I was let go from a job I liked. It was difficult, but I kept my head up and found a new job. Two weeks into my new job my ex-husband ended our marriage with a simple "I'm done" over dinner. The next day I came home and he had packed the stuff he needed and left. 

To explain what I went through during the separation and divorce is something I would never wish on anybody. I never believed or dreamed I would get a divorce. There were no answers to why he left in the beginning until months later. Needless to say after loosing my job and my marriage ending in less than four months the self confidence I had gained was gone. 

I managed to get through the year and through the stages of grief when I decided to dip my toe into the dating pool about a year ago. I wasn't sure how to date since I had never really done it, but I thought I'd try. I was picky and finally agreed to meet someone. He was smart, funny, outgoing, sensitive, communicated, and more. I fell hard and fast for him and believed there was a future there. However, it wasn't meant to be and again found myself with a broken heart. 

So here I am now... My self confidence low and a lot of my weight back. My confidence at the beginning of this year was probably less than what it was when this journey started originally a couple of years ago. I am healing my broken heart, rebuilding my confidence, and am working on getting this weight back off. 

I have been waiting to lose weight again to start blogging again. However, I think doing this will keep me accountable. The journey is about the ups and downs. I have learned that the hard way these past couple of years. I may have fallen, but I have never quit. 

I look forward to seeing all of us succeed in finding ourselves as we get healthy, mentally and physically!