Sunday, January 17, 2016

Getting through a Divorce

The beginning of May 2015, Brandon left and decided he wanted a divorce. I never saw it coming and my world felt like the bottom had dropped out. I was scared and confused. One thing I was scared of was falling into a deep depression. I suffer from depression and I didn't want to get where I have been previously. So, I reached out. People want to help. Sometimes you just need to let them.

Here is who helped me:

Family & Friends - I immediately reached out to my family and friends. A few of my friends were there to text me constantly throughout the day. I had family and friends who spent the night so I wouldn't be alone, I went to their house on the weekends, they hugged me, they prayed for me, they reminded me I didn't deserve the way I was treated, and they were just there.

There was one point when I was at my Mom's house doing the ugly cry when I told her "Mom, you did a really good job. People really like me." There were some friends I hadn't talked to in months, some years that were there offering love and advice. I will never be able to express my gratitude and thanks to all of them.

So my advice to you is reach out. Let them be there for you!

Counselor - During one of the weekends when I was at my brother and sister-in-laws house, she asked if I would be willing to see a counselor. I was, but in previous years I hadn't had great luck. She asked if I would see a christian counselor and I was willing. She knew a couple and told me one of the names that popped in her head. When I looked him up I found his office was 4 miles down the road from me. I immediately scheduled an appointment.

I was blessed to immediately find someone I connected with this time around. I would encourage you to find someone who you connect with, but having someone to talk to has been HUGE for me! He has encouraged me to read the Bible, pray, journal, and so much more. He has been there to help get where I am today. It is nice to talk to someone who is removed from the situation. Who doesn't feel one way or the other against you or the people involved. It has been a huge blessing to have someone to talk to and help me grow in my faith.

God - Give it to God! I don't know where I would be without all of the answers to prayers made over the past 9 months. He was there picking me up when I couldn't stand, leading me when I couldn't go any further, helping me forgive when I didn't believe I could, and so much more.

In the first months I had nightmares. They were awful. I would wake up and not be able to go back to sleep. They were awful. I began praying after I would wake up from them and within a short period I would fall back asleep. Not long after I began praying after waking up from these nightmares, I stopped having them. I would not be as healed and happy as I am now without God.

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