April 2018 Favorites

Wow. Where did April go? I work in the tax world and I kind of lost month. I did workout during March/April and meal plan. However, I have not done any blogging or reading. So... May goals!

This month my favorites show the ease I was looking for in still getting what I could do done and ease.  Here are my April favorites:

1. Flavor God - Flavor God seasonings are amazing. I have multiple; however, I haven't tried all of the ones I have yet. The two I am currently loving are the Spicy Everything & the Chocolate Donut. I have already ordered more of both of these. I love the Chocolate Donut in coffee, on fruit, and in my protein shakes. I may have ordered two so I can have one at home and one at work. I am looking forward to trying the Pizza seasoning next. 

2. Eating Evolved Keto Cups - These are an amazing sweet treat that I have been getting them from Thrive Market. I have tried and like both the Classic and the Carmel Sea Salt (my fave).

source

3. YouVersion Bible App - I love this application for multiple reasons. I have a daily verse sent to me every morning at 8am. I also love, love, love the multitude of devotion plans, the highlight features, the image creations, & all of the Bible versions at your fingertips. 

source

4. Music - I have been listening to "Good Morning" by Mandisa just about every morning. I listen to it while I drink my pre-workout drink and get ready for my workout in the morning. It also reminds me that it is a brand new day. 💗

source

What were your favorite things in May?!

~Stephanie~

March 2018 Favorites

Here are some of my favorites for March 2018:

1. Hits Deep Tour - I have become a concert junkie. I love them and have especially enjoyed Christian concerts. At the beginning of March A friend and I went to the Hits Deep Tour. It was great to see all of these artists. I love Toby Mac, but all of the artists were fantastic! Each of them have had a song that has had an impact on me.

Finding Favour

Mandisa

Danny Gokey

Ryan Stevenson

Toby Mac

2. Portable Speaker - I bought this portable speaker at the end of 2017. I love to take it with me in the basement for my workouts. It is reasonably priced and it is nice that it moves with me. I listen to music while working out and podcasts when I am getting ready in the morning. 

3. Clementines - I love clementines! This has been my favorite sweet treat. Even my co-worker leaves them for me once in a while on my desk.

4. John B. Crist - These past couple weeks have been a little stressful so when I was happy to come across comedian John Crist. I have watched his videos and have been a little obsessed. Sometimes you just need a good laugh. His videos are relatable to me. Check him out on YouTube and watch his parking lot road rage video.

5. Music - I have been listening to "I Just Need You" by TobyMac and "Get Down" by Finding Favour on repeat. This month has had it's ups and downs and these songs have been great reminders that no matter what I need him and to keep praying.

  

25 Get To Know Me Q&A

1. When was the last time you cried? Monday (3/19/18) 
2. Do you have kids? No
3. If you were another person, would you be a friend of yourself? Yes.
4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Uhhhh... NO! :)
5. What's the first thing you notice about people? Their eyes and/or smile.
6. What is your eye color? Hazel.
7. Scary movie or happy endings? Happy endings. I am definitely a romantic comedy girl. 
8. Favorite smells? Certain colognes. Roses (I know.) Citrus or earthy smells.
9. What's the furthest you've been away from home? I studied abroad in Spain for three weeks.
10. Do you have any special talents? Mmmm... I talk a lot. 
11. Do you have any pets? No.
12. Do you have any siblings? Yes. 3 brothers, 1 sister, and 2 step-sisters.
13. What do you want to be when you grow up? Young at heart. Happy & healthy.
14. How tall are you? 5'2"
15. How many countries have you visited? 4 - Spain, Portugal, Mexico, & Jamaica
16. What was your favorite/worst subject in high school? Favorite - English/Literature & Worst - Math
17. How would you describe your fashion sense? I try, but seek help from my friends. 
18. How many boyfriends have you had? Ummm... three. These are all high school and after. One I was engaged to, one I married/divorced, and one I was talking with about marriage.  
19. Favorite memory from childhood? How do you choose just one? Weird. Overall I would say camping the 4th of July week with my family. We'd play board games, swim, see fireworks, ride our bikes, and more. 
20. What is one of your bad habits? I watch too much TV. I drink Diet Coke and not enough water. I order pizza way too much. 

 Answer one of the questions above in the comments so I can know something about you! 

~Stephanie~

Negative Thoughts to Gratitude Thoughts

As my work day ended, the comparison and negative thoughts began. No one should do the comparison game or think negatively about themselves. We should be full of the good things. We should be full of love, encouragement, gratitude, and beauty. 

So as I sat down to relax and watch This Is Us I shifted my focus from the negative to feelings of gratitude. I may have cried. Between This Is Us and feeling so full of gratitude it couldn't be helped.  

As I began to switch my negative thoughts to gratitude thoughts, my friends A and C came to mind. We've been friends for years, but these past three through it all. They've loved me. Encouraged me. Cried with me. Listened to me. Laughed with me. Called me out when I needed it and so much more. 

My eyes may be leaking now as I write this and think about them. I am grateful that C works with me a few months out of the year. Even if she scares me sometimes as she pokes her head over the cubicle wall or gives me "the look" to check my attitude. I am grateful for our laughs, dancing, tears, long conversations, fears, and having each others back. 

I love them and so grateful to have them for friends. And the point of all of this is to say as I thought over my gratitude for having these two amazing, beautiful women in my life the negative and lonely thoughts went away. It changed my attitude and I may have sent them a love you snap. 

If you have these negative thoughts stop, look around and think about the things you are grateful for in life. There are so many things. 

~Stephanie~

Rolling Downhill

My food the past week and a half was not good. The last week of February, I had prepped salads for lunch all week and a couple for dinner. However, Monday after my first few bites I felt nauseas and threw my salad away. Unfortunately after that I couldn't stomach the thought of eating a salad. On top of this I woke up with a cold on Tuesday morning. I ended up ordering in most of the week, which was not a good thing.

It was also a busy week and I did not get to bed at a decent time. I woke up late and exhausted almost every morning. So on top of not eating nutritiously, I was not getting my workouts in for the week. This combination of not eating well and not working out is equivalent to a baby who is tired and fighting a nap.  I may have been cranky and craving carbs and sweets. 

It ends up being a vicious cycle. On my way home last week I was thinking about how I needed a workout, but I was so tired. I was exhausted and not eating nutritiously, which continues the cycle of not feeling well and being tired. I was headed downhill and needed to slow my roll. Thankfully I had prepared my favorite chili for the week and I had a workout with Lyndsey on Wednesday night. 

While my food and workouts were not great this week I was able to slow my roll. I may have rolled downhill a little bit, but I am picking myself back up. This week I have my second favorite meal prepared for lunches and a bagged salad for dinner. I am more prepared this week and beginning to climb back up the hill. Again! It isn't easy, but it is worth it.

Monday - 30 minute walk/run

Tuesday - 60 minute strength (Tuesday)

Wednesday - Rest

Thursday - 30-40 minute Tabata

Friday - 30 minute walk/run

Saturday - 90 minute strength 

Sunday - Rest

I won't lie. I am a little uneasy putting this out there for everyone to see, but it gives me some accountability. Plus my goal is 4 or more workouts a week. This week at work will be crazy, but hopefully having a plan will help. Time to get 'er done!

~Stephanie~

No Shame in Counseling

The other day I mentioned something about my counselor to someone and they were a little shocked that I still see him. I started seeing him a few months after my ex-husband walked out. In the beginning it was a weekly occurrence, but I currently go every two to three weeks.  It just depends on what is going on in my life. People have different views on counseling. I have been to a couple different ones, but I do think you need to find the right one. 

The counselor I see now was recommended to me by my sister-in-law shortly after my ex left. He was previously her professor. He is a Christian counselor is less than 6 miles from me. Thank God for name came to her while I was visiting my brother and her. 

He has helped me work through so many things. He isn't there to tell me what to do, but to counsel me. I have learned how to communicate better with my Mom (this is still a work in progress), understand my self doubt, find my love in music, figure out reoccurring nightmares, and so much more. He has prayed for me, answered my questions, helped me understand my reason for being open, and more. 

source

There is and should be no shame in counseling. No matter what you are going through in life I would recommend it. However, if you are trying to get through a difficult time in life I think it is a must. It was so nice to have someone to talk to who didn't know my ex, our friends or family, or me. He didn't take sides, which I needed during that time. It was one of the best decisions I made to help heal my broken heart at the time. 

Honestly, I believe it is smart to find a counselor. They help you to better understand the things you are going through and yourself. As time goes on I may start seeing my counselor less or more, but I don't see a time where I will quit seeing a therapist. I want to continue to grow and be a better me. By doing this I love myself more, which in turn allows me to give more love to those around me. 


~Stephanie~

Food Prep

A few weeks ago I decided to start get prepping individual meals so meals would be easier. One reason I thought to do this was my Mom ruptured her disc right before Christmas and was in extreme pain. She wasn't able to get around well so I for a couple weeks I prepped individual meals for her so it would be as easy as possible. Thankfully she is doing better, but I realized how nice it would be to have my own meals ready to go. 

I have been really trying to prep on Sunday nights these past couple of weeks. My week nights have been pretty busy. If I don't have food ready and have to think about what to do I end up ordering in Jimmy John's for lunch and pizza for dinner. After a really bad week almost a month ago I decided to do individual meals like I did for my Mom.

For Christmas I got these awesome containers from my friend & trainer, Lyndsey. I am not sure if these are the exact ones, but they look like it. I prepped salads in these containers and loved it. It was easy to measure all of the ingredients and keep my veggies, spinach, and chicken separate. 

The first week I did the salads for lunch and something random for dinner. Dinner was prepped, but individually. Last week I measured it all out individually for lunches and dinners. It took some time, but it was so nice! I didn't have to think about it during the week and was able to stay on track. 

There is still have a long ways to go, but this has been working for me. I definitely will need to think of ways to change it up, but I am really enjoying the salads for lunch right now. The nutrition is the hardest part for me. 

What are your favorite healthy meals? 

~Stephanie~

Here I Go Again

Have you ever had this crazy idea come in your head and you just ignore it. However, it keeps nagging at you no matter how many excuses you come up with or how many times you pray about it. So, here I am... again. 

I will be honest, the past couple of years have been rough. When I first started the blog I thought I would share my journey and the steps I had taken to get there. However, life took a turn. I have been and continue to slowly pick myself up and put the pieces back together. One thing I do know is with God I can do anything. 

So I am going to share more and document my experiences. The ups and the downs for my own benefit and if it helps anyone else, even better. I hope you have all been well. 

~Stephanie~

5 Lessons for Living with Your Brother

A little over a year ago my youngest brother graduated from High School and moved in with me. He was planning on going to a community college where I live so I gave him the option to move in with me. I thought it would be good for both of us. He could have one of the bedrooms, the basement, and the 2nd bathroom. It would give him the opportunity to not live at home while helping me with some of the things I wasn't sure about after the divorce. 

While I do not regret my decision things would have been done differently knowing what I know now. Here are the things I learned living with my 19 year old brother:

1.  HAVE A CONTRACT: We discussed the rules and what he needed to do over the phone; however, we did not get a chance to meet and go over them. After approximately 7 months I wrote out a contract for him to sign because he was not doing said items.

We had agreed he would take the trash & recycling out weekly, yard work (mowing, weeding, raking leaves, etc.), shovel the sidewalk in the winter, and work part-time while he went to school. He did not have to pay rent. He did not do these things like he was supposed to and was not going to school. Therefore, I created a 'contract' where he paid a rent and was charged fines if things were not done. 

source

2.  START STRICT: I let a lot of things go when he first moved in because he was my baby brother. There were different reasons I let things go, but it wasn't the best move. It is easier to start strict and lighten up on some things than to try and become strict.  

3.  CHARGE RENT: It is a lot easier to stop having them pay rent, but it was kind of a pain to set it up after a specified amount of time. Even if you set it up to go to savings account for them later. 

4.  HAVE BOUNDARIES: I did not set and keep boundaries that I know I should have as an older sister. In some areas I became his mother and not his older sister. In this regard there was a lack of respect for my home and items. There was also no guidelines setup on things I believed he would do and in the end didn't. For instance, cooking at 2am on weeknights or screaming & cursing at video games. I should have addressed these from the beginning (see #2). 

5.  BOYS ARE MESSY: Teenagers (especially boys) are messy. I am not saying my house is extremely orderly, but there is that thing we all have. Address that prior to it getting out of control. 

Stephanie

Busy Bee Weekends

When I started blogging again about a month ago my plan was to blog at least once a week. I could do it on the weekends... Then my weekends blew up! My last post on July 28th was posted minutes before I walked out the door for a girls weekend. My friend has a seasonal camper and her awesome family let us use it for the weekend. 

It was so nice to just relax and catch up all weekend. We of course had smores and a couple drinks! The camper special with blueberry liqueur... delicious! It was great to relax with each other on the beach and by the campfire. There is something about the beach that is so relaxing! Being there with your best gal pals just makes it that much better!

Then the first weekend in August, I met up with my friend (& trainer), Lyndsey and her daughter to watch them both do a triathlon. That's right... Her 10 year old daughter did a triathlon!  I'm not going to lie... I was so proud of her I got a bit choked up. Lyndsey of course was amazing and came in 2nd place. Girl is a power house! She continues to amaze me!

Then August 9th through 12th, I was at a music festival with my Mom & Aunt. It was so great to see so many amazing Christian bands! We got to see Tenth Avenue North, We Are Messengers, Hollyn, Laura Story, Matthew West, and so many more. There is no way to describe the feeling of having thousands worshipping and praising God! 

 Tenth Avenue North

 We Are Messengers - I seriously love this guy!

 Hollyn

TobyMac

 Laura Story

Matthew West

I had a great time hanging out and enjoying the weather all while see some of my favorite artists perform. Thankfully we did pretty well with food and drinks by packing our own. However, I did treat myself to a homemade lemonade though. Drool! Anyone else love these? 

My Mom put my name on my lunch! Haha!

What have you been up to these past few weeks/weekends?

Stephanie

Best Med

Do you like to workout? I do. I love it actually and I never thought I would say that in my life. The truth is I need it. I was on my way home after work last night and was doing a bit of negative self-talk. I was half way home sitting at a red light when I consciously made a point that I needed to stop beating myself up. I started driving through the intersection when I thought, "I need a workout." What?!?! 

It made me think about when I get a headache or a migraine. I have learned over the years there is a point where I know I need to take my meds or I am going to be in serious trouble. That is how I felt driving home last night. I needed to shut the negative self talk down and the best way to do that is a workout. 

source 

Now did I workout last night... sadly no. I did get a lot of stuff done in preparation for my weekend though. Then this morning I got up and did a killer workout. I got in 90 minutes and burned 611 calories. Boom baby! The hardest part of working out is getting started. 

Here are some things that have helped me:

• Put my workout clothes on as soon as I get home.
• Make my pre-workout drink & drink it on my way home from work.
• Turn on my workout music that gets me moving. 
• Text my friend Lyndsey or my Mom & Aunt Mary for accountability.
• Plan my workout and what I am doing. 
• Sweaty Selfies 😊 (I am loving these!)

Now I just need to start getting those workouts in more often. 

Stephanie

Day One

When I started this blog my goal was to show how I lost weight and the difference it had made in my life. It always felt like the success stories I saw were of someone having a revelation and dropping the weight quickly. So, I wanted to share my story about how I had lost 40 pounds over time and what I had learned. I wanted to share that small steps were okay and how positive thinking was a big component. My confidence had increased and I felt I was on the path to success and happiness. 

It had taken two years for me to find my groove. Two years for me to feel good about myself, lose weight, and feel great about the direction I was headed. My first kick came when I was let go from a job I liked. It was difficult, but I kept my head up and found a new job. Two weeks into my new job my ex-husband ended our marriage with a simple "I'm done" over dinner. The next day I came home and he had packed the stuff he needed and left. 

source

To explain what I went through during the separation and divorce is something I would never wish on anybody. I never believed or dreamed I would get a divorce. There were no answers to why he left in the beginning until months later. Needless to say after loosing my job and my marriage ending in less than four months the self confidence I had gained was gone. 

I managed to get through the year and through the stages of grief when I decided to dip my toe into the dating pool about a year ago. I wasn't sure how to date since I had never really done it, but I thought I'd try. I was picky and finally agreed to meet someone. He was smart, funny, outgoing, sensitive, communicated, and more. I fell hard and fast for him and believed there was a future there. However, it wasn't meant to be and again found myself with a broken heart. 

source

So here I am now... My self confidence low and a lot of my weight back. My confidence at the beginning of this year was probably less than what it was when this journey started originally a couple of years ago. I am healing my broken heart, rebuilding my confidence, and am working on getting this weight back off. 

I have been waiting to lose weight again to start blogging again. However, I think doing this will keep me accountable. The journey is about the ups and downs. I have learned that the hard way these past couple of years. I may have fallen, but I have never quit. 

I look forward to seeing all of us succeed in finding ourselves as we get healthy, mentally and physically! 

~Stephanie~

Lists! Lists! Lists!

Does anyone else love to make lists? I love lists and make multiple. For example, I make a Goal List ever year, project lists, home to do lists (daily & weekly, work to do lists (weekly & daily), different weight loss lists, grocery lists, etcetera. These can usually be found in my favorite spiral bound tablets that are all over my house.

In the past couple weeks I have re-wrote two lists pertaining to my weight loss. One list is my reward list for loosing 5 pounds and the second list is my why list. I wrote these lists a couple years ago when I started to get serious about weight loss the first time. However, with everything that has happened in the past year and a half, my trainer has been prodding me to re-write these lists.

The reward list is just that... rewards for loosing 5 pounds. The rewards are broken out in 5 pound increments with smaller items for five pounds and a little larger for ten pounds. For example, my first five pound loss reward is the book Dragonfly in Amber by Diana Gabaldon (Outlander #2). My first 10 pound loss reward is a pedicure by my favorite nail technician.

I didn't complete the goal list, but I wrote it out to see how long it would take me to reach my goal weight if I lost five pounds every month. It would take me approximately a year. What I want now though and what I want in six months will be different so I left some things blank.

The other list is a why list about why I want to loose the weight. I am not showing or writing out my entire list because some are a little personal. So here are a few of my reasons why I want to loose weight:

1. to enjoy shopping again
2. more energy
3. to feel and be confident (again)
4. to live a healthy lifestyle
5. sleep better
6. smaller size
7. not hate my picture taken
8. less food cravings/more self control

Part of me feels like I still need to sit down and put my heart into a why list, but at least this has got me thinking about it again. 

Question: Do you like lists? What kind of lists do you make?

Hello? Is Anyone There?

Wow! It is hard to believe I have not been on to write a post in months. There are a few different reasons as to why I have not been posting though.

The first reason is that my personal life has been super busy these past few months. I have been traveling almost every weekend or if I am home I have been out with friends & family. More on that later.

source

The second reason is that blogging involves sharing personal information. When I started the blog, I knew what I would be blogging about and who that would most likely entail. My weight loss journey was half over and I knew the key people in my life. Getting a divorce complicated things. My ex and some of his family knew about the blog. Plus we have mutual friends and I wasn't ready to share.

I am now ready to share my thoughts and experiences. However, this is your warning... if you do not want to know about certain details you should stop reading/following this blog. There are some specifics I will not share; however, I will my thoughts and how my life has been impacted. 

I look forward to sharing my successes and failures with you in the near future. 

Updated "About Me"

I have updated my About Me page. Check it out for the updated story.

Check-In: 2016 Goals

To be honest I have NOT done well with my goals so far this year, but I figured it would probably do me some good to look back over them. While I am a bit disappointed in not being where I would like to be with these goals right now; I am not going to beat myself up. 

The beginning of the year was very difficult for me, which can be seen in a previous post. I was depressed and angry. I was not living. I was coloring, watching lots of TV, and binge eating. So while I am not where I want to be with the goals I made at the beginning of the year... I am living again. I am cooking, working out, reading, cleaning my house, and so much more. 

source

So with that said... here are the goals I made at the beginning of 2016. Let's take a look... 

2016 Goals

• READ 50 BOOKS
• I have currently read 18 books and I am 8 books behind schedule.  

• RUN 5K (run the whole thing)
• I walked a 5k this weekend with my family (Mom, brother, & SIL). To be honest I have not felt like running... so I haven't made it a priority. There are different reasons for that feeling, but after not working out and finally getting back in the swing of things I am just happy I am moving again. 

• READ & PRAY 10 MINUTES/DAY FOR 4 DAYS/WEEK (at least 4 days/week)
• This seems to come & go... I do well and then I don't do well. Part of it was that I wasn't feeling the Psalms so I am currently reading Matthew. I am not doing well with this yet again. :( 
• BETTER WITH FINANCES
• Again... Not as well as I want! I haven't been using YNAB or budgeting like I am supposed to and should be doing. SHAME! :( However, it is something I am thinking about. I did take FPU (Financial Peace University with Dave Ramsey) at my church this spring. It was a great class and I highly recommend it. 
• REACH GOAL WEIGHT (135 lbs)
• Alright ya'll... this is something I am currently getting back into the swing of things. I have gained a lot of the weight I had originally lost back over this past year. I have been angry and depressed over this... However, after seeing a picture of myself about month ago I have gotten back on track. I will do an updated post on this if you want to stay tuned. :)
• 75+ BLOG POSTS
• Well if you keep up on the blog you know this hasn't happened. This is actually my 11th post of the year so I am only 25-ish posts behind. Gulp! 

WHERE ARE YOU AT WITH THE GOALS/RESOLUTIONS YOU MADE FOR 2016??

Mackinaw City Vacation

One of the first things my counselor had me do after I started to see him was to make a list of things I wanted to do in my future as a newly single woman.  When you are married all of your future plans include your spouse in some way. So to make plans future plans without including someone else was... different.

I don’t remember everything I had planned originally. It would be interesting to see if I could find the list I had made. The big one for me was to plan a vacation alone. I love traveling, but to travel alone made me a little anxious. My ex-husband planned all of our vacations. He traveled frequently so booking the accommodations and whatever mode of transportation we needed was something he always did.

  

My cabin with a view! 

When I originally decided to go on vacation my thought was to go somewhere I could possibly drive and be a tourist for a week. My thought was Kentucky, Tennessee, or somewhere where there was a

lot for me to do and see. However, as time passed I kept envisioning a long weekend in a cabin near a lake. When I remember pictures my friend had shared on Facebook of a vacation she took with her family to Mackinaw City. After talking with her about the campground where they rented cabin with a view, I decided this would be my first vacation. Especially after talking with others who all loved the same campground!

The view! 

So I rented a cabin for the weekend with a view of Mackinaw Bridge. It was marvelous! There was a ton of reading, some journaling, picture taking, wine, and a lot of relaxation. I watched the sun set on Friday night and I had a great workout with a view on Saturday morning. After my workout I spent some time in the book of Matthew. I did go into Mackinaw City and do some shopping. I couldn’t leave without some fudge!

Tasting my wine while doing a wine tasting word search! 

The whole trip was marvelous! There was time for reflection on the past year and even more time dreaming of what lies ahead. My only complaint would be that it was not long enough! J At the same time for my first trip alone it was the perfect length of time. I look forward to planning my next vacation!

Where are/have you gone on vacation recently?