It was a shock when I received the email that it was completed. I believe part of me didn't think he would go through with it. No one has really divorced in his family. Thankfully, I needed to take something to a friend of mine a few blocks from where I work. It was good to go for a walk and see a few friends. I don't know if I ever knew I loved hugs so much.
After work I spent Friday and Saturday with my three younger brothers and my sister-in-law. It was an amazing weekend and great to be around all of them. We haven't all been together since the beginning of the year so it was great to spend time together. Plus I was surrounded by people I love and who love me!
I wasn't as emotional as I expected. I did ask for thoughts on prayers on Facebook that Sunday night. My emotions were running high since it was our 7 year anniversary that Sunday (October 4th) and the divorce would be five days later. I am blessed for the family and friends that are in my life. On Tuesday I needed to text him and was able to say some things to him. It allowed me to close a door or at least begin to shut it prior to divorce being finalized.
Currently I am doing okay as far as emotionally and mentally. There will be up days and there will be down days. However, the up days are becoming more frequent. In regards to my weight loss it is not going well. I have gained approximately 20 pounds, but I am trying to not get the best of me. There has been some emotional eating and I am currently trying to work through it. This has unfortunately ruined a lot of my self esteem and I realized this past week that I have felt unworthy. So, I am working on building my self esteem back up because I deserve to be healthy and happy.
I am sorry for not writing a post sooner. I had started one and then my internet went out. Thank you to my friend Kate who has my back! I am hoping to post more and plan on writing on the things I have done to get through everything over the past 6 months. I hope you are all having a great weekend!
